Grief and a child reaction to a parent dating
Trying to involve yourself in their lives too quickly or too aggressively may have the adverse reaction of pushing your date away as he tries to cope with his feelings and help his children cope with theirs.
If you sense that your partner needs time alone, give him that time. Give your new partner the freedom to dictate how the relationship will progress, including when and how you will interact with his children.
The soul destroying grief of your child dying is only truly known and understood by those who have endured it.
Four years on, I still glance down at my daughters grave in disbelief. It’s almost like I’ve vacated my body and I’m watching someone I don’t know standing there putting flowers down. Only a parent understands the powerful bond you have with your child; that absolute undying love you have and that monumental desire that roars like an open fire inside you to protect that child at all costs.
However, in my situation I’ve been surprised by people’s genuine kindness and empathy as much as I’ve been repeatedly shocked & disappointed by their lack of it.
You're confused, disbelieving, saddened," writes Marsha Temlock, MA, author of Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect - What You Can Do.I’ve found it’s the only thing which dispels the trauma.Sure, friends and family have been supportive, but it’s proven to be the case with me that there is a mandate as for how long their unwavering support, patience, understanding, concern and empathy lasts.While dating a widower with children can present it own set of challenges, particularly if the passing of his spouse was recent or unexpected, it is still possible to develop a warm and fulfilling relationship.
Just keep in mind that dating a widower can require a bit of extra patience, understanding and a willingness to allow him space to express his feelings. Even if your new love interest has had ample time to grieve the loss of his spouse, his children may still be dealing with the loss of their parent -- and he may be trying to help them deal with their pain.The MP just cannot be as emotionally available as they were before the bio-psycho-social turning point.